When the same argument
keeps coming back

Sometimes it’s a tsunami. Sometimes it’s the small, everyday rumblings. Days turn into weeks of niggling and defensiveness. No warmth. No sex. No apology. No repair. Sometimes it’s just that you feel like housemates stuck in a groove, repeating the same pattern. And in the middle of it all, it’s hard to see a way out, let alone a way forward.

Couples therapy is a place to step back from the fight and look at the pattern underneath it, together.

Thérèse van Maanen, registered psychologist and RT-certified therapist offering couples therapy in Melbourne and the Macedon Ranges

Couples I work with

Couples who keep having the same argument, or who feel distant or lonely together

Couples going through a crisis, such as an affair coming to light, a loss, or a major change

Couples who feel like housemates and want to reconnect after years of being busy parents

Couples unsure whether to stay together, and couples who want to separate with more respect and less damage

Same-sex and LGBTQIA+ couples, and couples where one or both partners are neurodivergent

You don’t have to wait until things reach breaking point

How I work

I work with Relational Life Therapy™, a warm, direct and practical approach developed by American family therapist Terry Real. I’m not a neutral referee. I’ll be honest with each of you, including about the things that are hard to hear, and I’m on the side of your relationship and of each of you.

About RLT

Therese_van_Maanan_Psychologist_Relational_Therapy_Couples_counselling_approach_in_clinic

What to expect

A free introductory call
Fifteen minutes to tell me a little about what’s happening, ask questions and see whether we’re a good fit.

Mapping the pattern
The first one or two sessions are about understanding what’s happening between you. I may also see each of you on your own during this stage, which is a normal part of couples work and includes checking on safety.

Regular sessions
Couples sessions are usually 90 minutes, fortnightly. That gives you time to put the work into practice in everyday life.

Between sessions
If you’ve agreed to AI-assisted notes, you’ll receive a written summary after each session: what we noticed, what each of you is working on, and sometimes something to practise before we next meet.

FAQs

Self-reflection Quiz

5 ways shame shows up in relationships

Shame rarely announces itself. More often it hides behind habits we don’t even notice: getting defensive, keeping the peace at any cost, pulling away, or needing to be perfect.

Drawing on the work of family therapist Terry Real and Relational Life Therapy, this short quiz helps you notice which patterns might show up for you when things get difficult with the person you love.

Answer each question thinking about your current (or most recent) partner.

20 questions · about 4 minutes · your answers stay on your device

Start quiz